They will say that I am a lord. I  have never wanted any domain. I am  not rich. I feel in control of  nothing, only of myself. I wish I could  be more just and less kind. I wish I were not ashamed of not having done enough to improve things. I wish I could be kinder also when I have to be determined and decisive.

They will say that I am a  delinquent. Guilty only of rebelling against  an unjust system, where the strongest are always right. I have never committed illicit or  evil deeds. I am not capable of  dishonesty or degradation. Those who accuse others in bad faith and those  who sentence without  understanding without  even simple presumptions if not their common ignorance just following the cliché.

They will say that I am a  leader. I direct, orient and guide the others towards their self-control until they no longer need a leader.

They will say that I am a cheater. I have  never used artifices or deceived  to make  unfair gains for myself  or for others causing damage to other people.  I have never swindled, tricked or obtained anything by fraud. I have always stated before what I would of done later.

They will say that I am a politician. I  have never dedicated myself professionally to  political activity. I do not believe in a social organization expression of a system constituted by a  hierarchical structure. Selection is not the only strategy of evolution as it has been  so far, for ten thousand  years.  Today evolution can be the effect of general involvement.

They will say that I am a statesman. I do not believe in the states that have leaded us to this point and I do not want to govern a state. I believe in the human being and his or her  ability to understand reality and change it .

They will say that I am eclectic. Yes, I am inspired by various cultural sources and I try to understand each culture’s truth, justice and beauty.

They will say that I seek attention. If I had wanted to draw attention to myself I would have used all the means that the system offers. And instead I have always thought that others must be helped to exist.

They will say that they I am an instrument for others. It is true, I am an instrument for  others but for everyone  and not just one of them.

They will say that I am a saint.  Sanctity does not exist. It is somebody’s invention or imagination towards ourselves  and others to rise veneration. The devout , the good, the just , the righteous and the virtuous man is not a saint but only an expression of the best of reality.

They will say that I am deceiver.  I have never acted erroneously, never swindled, never cheated. I have caused disappointment when I have not been understood or when I had not been able to explain my self in a sufficiently clear way and when  I have made a mistake.

They will say that I am apparent. I am, I exist. What I do is real. What I have is concrete. What I want is clear. What I use is lawful. We should not confuse appearance with moderation or lack of abuse.

They will say that  I am a messiah. I am not a person they have been waiting for. I am not and nor do I want to be a king or a saviour but only a man who does his duty of being intelligent and thinking as anyone can do.

They will say that I  am a violator. I do not exceed the limits imposed by regulations and I follow law, without  ever violating it. I imagine new rules generated by  behaviour and necessities that are not previewed by the old rules.

They will say that I am a tax-evader. I have never evaded fiscal obligations and I have never run away from them.

They will say that I am a man of the Mafia.  Mafia means secrecy, conspiracy of silence, intimidation, racketeering, kidnapping  and homicide all in the name of private economic interests.  Mafia means a group of people united  to achieve or to maintain their own particular interests by any means, even at the expense of public interests. I have always fought all of this and a few times  I even risked to avoid it happening.

They will say that I am bankrupt. I have always paid my debts and I have  never hidden or distorted anything that I have been in charge of.

They will say that I am a slanderer. I have never slandered others , I have never smeared other people’s names , I have  never blamed  innocents, I have  never invented accusations in order to slander or  discredit, I  have never run people down. Instead I have  often been a victim of slander, denigration, defamation, false charges and condemnation. I do not hate those who have. Firstly  because I believe  that  they did nor realise their mistake and, secondly because I am not able to hate.

They will say that I am over-ambitious. In  all truth,  there is no disproportion between the importance of my aims and the concrete possibility of fulfilling them.

They will say that I am egocentric. I have  put myself in centre stage of every situation only if  others have not been able to resolve them. This is not self-centredness but a sense of responsibility.

They will say that I am a megalomaniac. I do not have exaggerated presumptions of my capabilities but I believe in the abilities of  others who like  myself want to fight for their happiness.

They will say that they I am a day-dreamer. Do I suffer from hallucinations seeing those who suffer from  hunger and thirst? Am I daydreaming if I say I am perceiving the injustices, the deceitfulness, the violence, the ignorance that we have created? Do I have imaginative visions because I think of how to face the real problems  and how to act to resolve them? Is it a false vision to have  an idea to change the world in order to help life win and help  human beings evolve  respecting  the environment of which we are part of?

They will say that I am a mythomaniacal. I have never counterfeited the truth. Neither with fantastical stories neither to attract the attention on me. I have only imagined the one that it has been before the truth and because has had origin and I believe that it is possible improve it.

They will say that I am an utopian. The word «utopia» derives from the two Greek words «ou » (not) and «tòpos »(place). The utopia is an imaginary conception of a government or an ideal society. Is utopian who thinks that the things can and must change or who believes that the things can continue as are now? Of the other part, every ideal is utopian until does not become truth. To change the world, improve it for all, is possible, logical, necessary, useful, just and beautiful. It only must understand this.

They will say that I am  a terrorist. I have spoken with declared terrorists and respectable people who have used  terrorists in order to reaffirm their power. I have invited the terrorists to adopt non violent forms of rebellion. I have asked respectable  people to favour  change for  themselves and anyone who is badly off. I have risked and put others at risk. A religious man that meets a representative of an other religion does not change religion. He tries to understand and make himself understood. He fights but without violence, without hurting others.

They will say that I am  presumptuous. Do I  have an exaggerated opinion of my own worth and  own importance?  Am I guilty of immodesty ? Perhaps. Everyone thinks they can control parts of  reality which escape us and then think we are just not capable to face what we could really be able to change of reality. I am a man, with  defects,  weaknesses and imperfections of a limited and imperfect nature. If instead of criticising those who try to improve, we all did our part we could all improve.

They will say that I am a cheater. Who have I tricked? Who  have I loved? Who  have I helped? Who  have I begged to make  peace? Who has helped me  to change  things ? Who  have I convinced to participate in a plan  to resolve real and common problems? Who has believed in me? Who has not borne the costs with  me? Who has interest in leaving  things as they are? Who uses the rules in order to maintain their power? Who  have I tricked?

They will say that I am dead. It is not true. I am not a dead man, I have only disappeared.

They will say that I am poor. I do not have assets. I do not have money. I organise and  manage resources. These have been entrusted to me in order to complete a mission, not to use for my own ends. However, the poor are those who suffer poverty and misery. I eat, drink, look after myself, move, dress myself, I am informed, I acknowledge, speak, write, suggest and discuss. I am not  poor.

They will say that I am rich. I could not be  even if I wanted to. I have always  produced wealth for destined to  produce other wealth or  promote and  support initiatives that do not anticipate any economic return for me. My wealth is  knowledge, the will and the strength to change.

They will say that  I am untouchable. Nobody has given me immunity . Many have done anything to gain information but have not understood nothing of what they  have seen or received.

They will say that  I am invincible. Nobody is invincible. Anyone can only become unrestrainable by believing in what he does without acting for himself. Insurmountable obstacles do not exist unless they are inside of us.

They will say that  I am invisible. Ask the people that are ill. Ask those who have accompanied  me. Ask those who have offered  water and food to me. They will say what they have seen. My eyes,  nose,  mouth,  hands,  legs, heart and  brain.  I was there.

They will say that  I am unapproachable. Yet, to make contact with me is very easy. There are no dangers. I  have no secrets. I have no arms. I have no body-guards, nor have I ever needed them. What is impossible is that there are no traces.

They will say that I am pretentious. My demands are energetic but legitimate. I do not make excessive or unjustified requests. I have the right and the duty to ask, to inform and to suggest and the receiver of my messages have the duty to answer.

They will say that I am ill. All my organs are healthy. I sleep peacefully. I eat correctly. I have a selective memory. I remember the essential  of everything. I can appear frenetic and impatient. Thinking that  every hour that passes thousands of children die of hunger, thirst and diseases. Others suffer from injustices and  inequality. Therefore I try to accelerate the events in order to face the problems as quickly as possible.

They will say that I am an idealist. The ideal is what should exist. There is nothing wrong in acting to transform present reality into a real ideal.

 They will say that I am a fideist.  I  use the mind of the heart and reason.  Instinct makes me  perceive pain and  suffering. Logic suggests what to do in order to face  evil. I do not know supreme truth. I know the energy  I have inside and that merges together  with the energy in which we are submerged and  which we are made of.

They will say that I am an opportunist. I have principles and ideals shared by many people, the majority of the inhabitants of the Earth. They are speculative, not opportunist. I believe that nothing is repeated twice and therefore one should not waste any occasion that might serve to improve things.

They will say that I am cynical. I accept every tradition or custom even if I do not share them all. I discuss with the believer and the atheist, the rich  and the poor , the strong and the weak , the just and the desperate, the doctor and the sick . Nothing slips my notice. I analyse all that that I perceive.

They will say that I am sceptical. I am always trustful  until contrary evidence. Trust  until contrary evidence does not mean not to preview the contrary evidence. I abstain from negative judgement when I am not sure of the truth.

They will say that I am uncontrollable. It is  very easy to control what I think, I say and I do. It is impossible to prevent me from thinking and acting and even so, others would think and act in my place.

They will say that I am a non-believer. I am faithful  to promises unless doing would mean imposing my will, because I believe that my freedom ends where the freedom of  others begin. I do not believe in transcendence but only in our ignorance and the possibility of overcoming it.

They will say that I am a dictator. Neither I am authoritarian  or despotic. I believe that in certain crucial moments someone must assume  responsibility to decide quickly. The first republic was  founded in Rome. The Roman Republic foresaw that in exceptional cases and for a limited time someone could be invested with  full civil and military powers. Amongst the means that  I use weapons are not contemplated. Military power is no longer needed. Energy, knowledge, will power and determination are all necessary.

They will say that I am an imperialist. Imperialism is the tendency of a state to expand its own dominions and to exercise its own strength over other nations. I believe that imperialism will fall when all  people will have full sovereignty over their states. The Republic of the Earth is the instrument  to obtain this result.

They will say that I am a rebel. I rebel non-violently and without acting in bad- faith against the constituted authority and if manipulated from power also against law.

They will say that I am  subversive. I try to modify the system and its structures without  turning upside down any institution but asking that the institutions behave according to the law.

They will say that I am a revolutionary. No revolution has ever changed the world but it has always allowed  someone to replace someone else. Only evolution modifies relationships and behaviour. Therefore  evolution can only be accelerated. With  energy, knowledge and action. We dare not to adapt  to the level of development of the human being. It means defeat from the start.

They will say that I am a monster. I do not have a strange form.  I am not an imaginary  creature.  I have no deformities. I do not possess advanced characteristics. I am not blotted by crime or cruelty. I am an honest, normal person.

They will say that I am  a hero. Heroes  fear and have courage. I do not fear. Therefore I am not a hero.

They will say that I am a genius. I do not have any particular inventive or creative talent. I perceive necessity, I recognize, I look for the origins  and the cause of the problems, I decide to face them. I establish the priorities, I find the solutions, I get hold  of the instruments, I  organise them in function of the objectives that I propose myself and I act, even alone.

They will say that I am a counterfeiter. I have   counterfeited nothing. The currency that I  propose is not the imitation of an other currency but of  new currency.

They will say that I have been sentenced. It is true. How much time  it has made me  waste and how much time has been wasted. But it was necessary  to face  the law and those who should apply it. It is not condemning an innocent man that prevents  the bringing about of  a real renewal.

They will say that I am guilty. Nobody has ever indicated what I am guilty of and for which reasons. It seems almost that I am guilty of existing.

They will say that I am a criminal. Yes, I have been unjustly implicated, damaged. Others have endured the same fate. Then they have been considered heroes.

They will say that I am an impostor. An impostor is someone who in bad faith or interest tells lies or falsifies the facts. I have never done so. I would not be able to.

They will say that I am a recycler. I have  never had and  nor do I provide  money or assets of illicit origin.

They will say that I am ingenuous. Those who say I am ingenuous hope to convince  the others that I am simplistic, inexpert. Of course I still have  many things to learn.

They will say that I am a thief. To steal means to embezzle something from an other against his or her will. I have  never done so. Sometimes I have convinced others to give me part of what they had  to  give those who  have nothing. This is not  stealing.

They will say that I am a liar. I have never asserted anything that does not reflect the truth. Not even white lies.

They will say that I am an improviser. Sometimes I have had to react quickly to  the unexpected but  the more things you think about the quicker you know how to find  the solution to an unexpected obstacle.

They will say that I am overbearing. Only when I have  to run risks alone  I have wanted things to go my way.

They will say that I am ambitious. I have a burning desire to fulfil and obtain results , not for the uncontrollable yearning of success but because I think it  is of use for everyone.

They will say that I am shameless. I have never said or committed  shameful things.

They will say that I am uncorrectable. Someone who is not guilty  cannot repent. If he did so he would be making a mockery of himself and he would be false and hypocritical.

They will say that I am dangerous. Those who want  things to remain as they are think I am dangerous. Wrong. Change is necessary to everyone. If  things remain as they are it will worse for all.

They will say that I am a mad man. There havent been changes in my mental faculties and I do not behave foolishly. As everyone else I perceive a reality that is going the wrong way. The difference is I do not pretend there is nothing wrong, I try to change things with people who feel the same necessity. A madman is someone who reads reality in a different way, superficially, in order to escape  from responsibilities and conscience,  therefore hurting   himself or herself   and everyone else.

They will say that  I am strange.  I am not a conformist. Of course  I do not adhere to common behaviour, customs and opinions, especially political, prevailing in a determined group or period, passively adapting  my self as many do.

They will say that I am a hermit. I am  neither a hermit nor an ascetic and even less so a  humbug or a bigot.

They will say that I am a moralist. All of us know what  is right but we do not it. I try to do what I think is necessary and useful for everybody.

They will say that I am immoral. I never do never offended moral norms and I have never opposed any of them.  I am not always in  agreement with some of them, in the same way as others  do not always agree  with me.

They will say that I  politicise. Perhaps I do not have the necessary qualification to dedicate myself to a political activity but I certainly do not do it  to satisfy my personal ambitions. Living and working, we all learn.

They will say that I am a rogue. I am not a vile or gross person who carries out dishonest acts.

They will say that I am an idiot. I do not think that I have retarded mental development.

They will say that I am a masochist. I   have no tendency to suffer but I accept the costs necessary to promote change.

They will say that I am unpleasant. If someone has an instinctive  aversion towards me with no apparent reason it must be only for some personal reason that does not concern me but that he or she should admit honestly.

They will say that I am courageous. Certainly, at times it is necessary to have the courage to say and to do what the others would like to but do not. That does not mean being hostile or indignant but simply having the courage  to believe in oneself and in the others.

They will say that they are irreverent. I have the maximum respect for all  life and forms of energy . That does not mean  enduring arrogance and haughtiness.

They will say that I am a  psychopath. I believe  that the majority of  alterations in the character are to do with weakness, cowardliness,  fear,  opportunism,   interested respectability and  conformity.

They will say that I am excessive. I expect nothing from the others, therefore I am neither excessive  nor immoderate. I propose, I discuss, I work and I accept the price of  delays caused by my ignorance and  other people's slothfulness.

They will say that I am mysterious. There is nothing strange or inexplicable in what I do and  I have always said  before what I would have done later.

They will say that I am  mystic. Having deep spirituality  does not mean  exalting things that objectively  appear foolish, illogical and however never demonstrated.  I use intelligence in order to understand and in order to believe.

They will say that I am a phenomenon. I am neither extraordinary, nor incredible, neither amazing, nor extraordinary but only a human being like many.

They will say that I am unreal. I am made of skin and bone, with eyes, a nose, a mouth, ears, hands, feet, heart, lungs and all the rest, including a brain that works. I do not know how to fly and I do not know how to pretend, I cannot remain silent.

They will say that I am dramatic. I have never  assumed ostentatious or simulated behaviour.

They will say that I am pathetic. I would be if I assumed affected and sentimental attitudes. I am only sorry that I have not done enough in order to avoid the pain of  others.

They will say everything but the truth. They do not know the truth, and have no intention to find out the truth , because to know the truth hurts, it has a cost, and we are not  intelligent enough to understand that it is best to bear the costs today rather than an incurable evil tomorrow.

Never mind, if it would not be like this, it would be pointless to have been born.

November 2002.

Rodolfo Marusi Guareschi